Britney Spears Tramp Stamp Adjacent

Britney Spears got a tattoo of a cross right above her pussy. The Bible explicitly forbids graven images, and almost certainly those aimed at making you look impossibly more slutty. Jesus wasn’t all that judgmental and in fact associated with prostitutes. Name one guy who hangs out with hookers and not for the freebies. Jesus may have been Spears’ only compatible spouse, as anyone even remotely capable of judging people politely declines a second date.

Spears is decent looking but she smells like dirty diapers and watches Cartoon Network in six hour chunks. You’re not even religious, but staring at the crucifix while going down on her seems intrinsically wrong. May as well be a photo of her step-dads. You can be the staunchest atheist in the world, but you’re not going to piss in the pulpit. If you do, you’re going to drive home extra careful. May as well say Candyman three times and use a rosary on her as anal beads, because at this point you’re bleeding from your forehead and wrists. Probably your junk too.

_{Photo credit: Twitter}