U.N. Dumps Wonder Woman For Having Big White Tits

A group of concerned United Nations staffers started an online petition to remove Wonder Woman as UN’s Honorary Ambassador for the Empowerment of Women and Girls. For those who’d like to pretend corporate donations aren’t a part of these decisions from on high, earlier this year Red from Angry Birds was named a UN Honorary Ambassador. The concerned men and women who work tirelessly for whatever the fuck it is the United Nations purports to do but never seems to accomplish took great offense especially with the Amazonian’s tits:

…the character’s current iteration is that of a large breasted, white woman of impossible proportions, scantily clad in a shimmery, thigh-baring body suit with an American flag motif and knee high boots –the epitome of a “pin-up” girl. This is the character that the United Nations has decided to represent a globally important issue – that of gender equality and empowerment of women and girls. 

You had to know “white” would be in there. Racism is beautiful when put into the appropriate context. Nobody was willing to drill down even one level to the actual content of Wonder Woman comics which are fiercely feminist, with Diana routinely protecting, defending, and inspiring girls and young women. Perception is the ultimate goal of diversity. Similar to how hating on America is the ultimate goal of the United Nations. Wonder Woman got the axe.

It’s always seemed somewhat weird to host and pay for an entity that overtly dislikes you. Like having an angry mother-in-law eating out of your fridge and telling you how you were never good enough for her daughter. People who believe in global citizenship are decent enough idealists with the shittiest ideas on how to bring about their Utopia. A large portion seems to consist of men gathered from around the world to mouth fuck hookers dressed as Wonder Woman in New York hotels. Also, DiCaprio speeches and luncheons. It’s always been easier to keep paying the U.N.’s bills than fighting to get rid of it. So, the mother-in-law analogy still holds.