Pitbull Took a Cool Million from Florida

The State of Florida somewhat quietly paid Pitbull a million dollars for a year of promoting the Sunshine State in the media and through musical performances. This included making Florida super sexy as only a bald Cuban in bad suits and your grandfather’s sunglasses can do. Both sides were immediately embarrassed by the deal and threatened to sue each other if either ever made the terms public. With the last ounce of street in him, Pitbull beat Florida lawmakers to the punch and Tweeted out the deal.

There can’t be any real shame left in Pitbull. Once a true poor-ass barrio kid from Miami long ago sold out to every single paid sponsor possible. And why not? Your parents didn’t ditch Castro in a raft so you could steal hubcaps in Liberty City. Money is good and Pitbull gives back.

Florida is the jankiest state in the union. A consummate hustler of a state, decked out in an unbuttoned shirt, beckoning snowbirds and double-wides to stake a claim in their bustling telemarketing and evangelical strip club scenes. Pitbull is the perfect ambassador. Tony Montana without a gun. Pay him ten million. Get Jeb Bush into his videos grinding young chicks in bikinis on the beach. This was bound to happen when the Miami Sound Machine aged out.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet}