Mariah Carey Lights Up the Empire State

It’s hard to explain the love affair between the New York City tourism board and Mariah Carey. She’s become the unequivocal symbol of Yuletide celebration in the Big Apple. Either they’re aged fanboys who giddily remember her dating Derek Jeter back in the last millennium, or they’re chubby chasers. Likely both. 

Mariah Carey’s plot to exact revenge on James Packer seems to have settled on Mariah following Jeff Foxworthy’s advice on the Golden Corral. Next year the Empire State Building pulls the lever and Mariah Carey lights up. Constantly asking your wardrobe person if the back pocket can properly hold a breaded pork chop is a cry for help. 

Mariah used the occasion to promote her Mariah’s World reality show which finally aired on E! following nine months of teasing. She opens by playing her alter ego, Bianca, a bitchy British woman who constantly trashes Mariah. It’s unclear if this is supposed to be comedic or a real Sybil mental break. It’s funny when you play crazy, but not as funny if nobody can tell the difference. The E! audience does like ostentatious over the top women. Also disability checks and chocolate pudidng. This shitty show might work even if only by inertia. Like ESPN airing Division III football. It’s still better than real life.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet/Splash}