Lisa Opie Eschews Undergarments

Women going out for the evening without underpants used to have a very limited upside. You weren’t necessarily shuffled up to the VIP room to meet the visiting royals and Haliburton execs. But the bartender would fuck you in exchange for comped drinks. Now there’s an entire class of social media celebrities who frequent warm weather cities in slit or short dresses and revealing tops and nothing underneath. It’s a skill somewhere in between a real skill and swimming the butterfly.

The purpose of a subpar stroke remains unclear. Men have long ago imagined your panties away and every woman in the place hates you. Given how many times former beauty pageant girls like Lisa Opie climb in and out of cars circling hot nightspots, it’s possible this is entirely staged for photographers. Oops. My cunt. Is that Garnier Fructis on the phone? Yes, I’ll be your spokeswoman for ten million smackaroos. Papa don’t preach.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}