Lindsay Does Dubai

Lindsay Lohan has made Dubai her new home. It was hard for her to officially leave England, until the eviction notices from the apartment her previous boyfriend was paying on her behalf started being taped to her door. Then less hard. Her next move was to Greece where she promptly lost half a finger in a motorboat accident where the motorboat wasn’t moving. Then onto Turkey where she committed her life to serving the population of Syrian refugees displaced by civil war. Thirty-seven minutes later she agreed to host a New Year’s Eve nightclub party in Dubai in exchange for a room above the joint and money for booze in the only nation within a thousand miles that allows such.

The nightclub went all out for the promotions by finding a seven year old photo of Lohan before the second stage bloating and slapped their name over it. If you’re choosing to spend thousands of dollars to party with Lindsay Lohan, it’s certainly not the marketing flyer that’s going to make or break your decision.

The Middle East is the last refuge of ex-patriot celebrities on the run from their own dark pasts. Also, from creditors. The ultimate downfall of that region of the world won’t be Islamic fundamentalism, it’ll be it’s unholy fascination with Paris Hilton and The Kardashians. Allah does not abide duty free gold. If you want Lindsay to do the countdown at midnight, don’t serve her until 11:58.