Kylie Jenner Didn’t Fuck on Tape

It’s no small admission for Kylie Jenner to call bullshit when a blurry clip appears on a random website claiming it’s a video of dude fucking her. How rigidly have you been maintaining that fuck diary your mom gave you at eleven? Also, is this the right move for publicity? Sure, it’s some shitty clickbait site. Not everybody gets Vivid their first time out. You’ll never be your own whore until you stop trying to be the same whore as your older half-sister. 

Kylie Jenner is fighting on too many fronts. She’s also engaged in a Socratic battle over whether or not she’s had breast implants. She claims to be the first member of her family including her own father not to have fake tits. Her fans have he intelligence quotient of a browned banana and they know she’s had a boob job. Is this relevant to that dream you have where you’re railing her from behind while she cleans your toilets? Kylie Jenner is a piece of cake. Literally. Eat her. Don’t eat her. You can’t yell at a piece of cake. 

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