Kanye’s Blond Ambition Tour

Kanye West has left the hospital where he spent over a week being treated for exhaustion, dehydration, and temporary psychosis. It’s that last one that might give you pause since you only ever hear the term used by defense attorneys in murder trials. Kim Kardashian isn’t letting her husband see the children since he started foaming at the mouth more than usual. Probably the dehydration. Or the nagging sensation you left your house keys in Amber Rose’s vagina.

Kanye bleached his hair because that’s what grown men do after mental breakdowns and several days in diapers. If you’re reading from the Dennis Rodman playbook, you’re already bracing for Kanye in a wedding dress followed by a diplomatic trip to meet Kim Jong-un. Finding Zen isn’t as important as staying on your medications and divorcing the Kardashians. The world is filled with stupid hot chicks. You can easily do better. Try not to watch what they say about you on the show. You’re not as strong as Lamar.

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