Bad News for Women Who Shave Their Pubes (and the Men Who Love Them)

In a blow to men who love their women resembling prebuscent girls, a new medical study finds that women who shave their pubes are far more likely to carry STDs. Or the more politically correct STIs, because calling herpes an infection versus a disease makes the demon bumps in your jockeys seem far less irritating. The same presumably holds true for men who shave their junk, though if you hook up with a dude with shaved nuts you’re literally begging for really bad news.

The study equivocates as to whether the increased infection rate among shaved women is due to microtears in the skin from repeated shearing, or whether women who routinely go bare down there are having tons more sex than chicks sporting Lou Albano rubber bands around their unkempt pubic forests. Presumably, you’re only taking the trouble to groom if you’re expecting to be seen. Epiladys aren’t flying off the shelves at Amish area bodegas. 

What is clear is that God continues to favor bush men. It may strike millennials as odd, but there was a time when a man had to wield a machete and clear a swath to get to where he was going in the dark. It was called adventure and it built character. Not everything convenient is better. A toothpick in the mouth used to indicate a player. Now you’re a poser and your girlfriend looks like she’s twelve when naked. 

_{Photo Credit: Free People}