ADVERTISEMENT

Coldplay Proposals On the Rise (VIDEO)

December 13, 2016 | celebrity | Lex Jurgen | 0 Comments

 

 

People accept road warning signs like they came etched in tablets down from Sinai. Yet they treat overtly obvious signs that they’re about to enter into marriage with the wrong person as a certain misread on their part. No red flag perhaps more overt than your boyfriend flashing his and hers tickets to the Coldplay concert. Check his Google search history from the beginning of time, now. He might as well be asking you if you think your brother would ever want to go to the beach again with you guys. By the time he’s imploring Chris Martin to help him ask for your hand in marriage, the time space continuum has created that moment down the road where you find him doing something for which he assures you he can explain. Cry to your mom. She’s been waiting for this phone call.

The number of proposals at Coldplay concerts is on the rapid rise. It’s become a regular feature of every tour stop. Men who relish the drama of marriage proposals are no men at all. It’s like being giddy about going off to war. Only the exact opposite. Men don’t seek out attention nor do they listen to morose British men on tiny keyboards moaning aloud in dulcet tones. Gay Beethoven was a henpecked sod who finally took the initiative to change the locks while Gwyneth Paltrow was out providing salmon roe facial cleansers to the homeless.

There’s nothing romantic about any of this. She’s crying now. Yes, that means blowjobs every day of your marriage. Wait, I meant she’ll be giving them to you. What did you mean? I can see the ball gag in your man satchel. This all could’ve been so easily prevented.

Tags: chris martin video




Disclaimer: All rights reserved for writing and editorial content. No rights or credit claimed for any images featured on wwtdd.com unless stated. If you own rights to any of the images because YOU ARE THE PHOTOGRAPHER and do not wish them to appear here, please contact us info(@)egotastic.com and they will be promptly removed. If you are a representative of the photographer, provide signed documentation in your query that you are acting on that individual's legal copyright holder status.

Advertisement


Advertisement


Related Post

Advertisement


Advertisement


Advertisement