Bella Thorne Has Arrived

You’ve made it in Hollywood when the female gossip rags are overdosing on coverage of your “breakup hairdo” as opposed to what men see which is a chick showing off her tits. I’m supposed to notice that her hair is shorter and blue? It’s not like we’re married, in which case I’d expect her to inform me.

Bella Thorne’s various older boyfriend stories have been going on since she was a self-reported age fifteen and jetting around with above eighteen dudes to hotel vacations in between work. Who’s going to say boo when you’re a teen and you’re entire family is living off of you hitting the Tinsel Town roulette. If Bella hadn’t clicked, the Thornes were another food stamp statistic. Now they’re all kissing the youngest daughter’s ass for “assistant” salaries resembling Earldoms to the king. We’ve seen this many times before with Miley Cyrus and the like. It’s a lot of power in the hands of a girl who’s now allowed to dress herself and fuck whoever she wants. 

Thorne summed up 2016 with a powerful Tweet on her mortal condition:

Wow this year was the happiest and saddest of times for me…an emotional-train wreck-clusterfuck #merrychristmas. Feeling pink and warm and bubbly and shit.

You’re not paying me so I’m allowed to say you sound like a twit. One inch lower on the corsets and I’m prepared to call that powerful and your new hair a statement to the world that you’re boyfriend problems free and loving it.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}