Angelina Jolie’s Pre-Cogged Mastectomy Cost Us All

Back in 2013, Angelina Jolie fired off an op-ed to the New York Times about the breast cancer gene in her family and her decision to mastectomy herself in advance of ever possibly coming up positive. Some time later she would speculatively cut out all of her female reproductive organs, and not long after that, less speculatively cut out her husband. 

In a follow up study, researchers found that Jolie’s highly publicized announcement drove a ton of women to get genetic testing who were not in the same high risk category as Jolie. About fourteen million dollars worth of testing. Those requiring cancer treatment following all the extra testing turned out to be nil. A large percentage of women surveyed were well aware of Jolie’s family cancer saga, while very few were able to explain Jolie’s actual medical condition. Or glean what were the conditions present that should lead them to go get the expensive testing done. Hence, women panicked and insisted upon an expensive test almost none of them needed. 

Researchers dryly concluded about celebrity medical shoutouts:

“Celebrity announcements in the social media age can raise awareness and use of preventive care by a large and broad audience, although their ability to target subpopulations of interest may be limited.”

Or to put less nicely, please shut the fuck up with your open letters and op-eds and Jenny McCarthy inspired medical edicts based on your “some high school”. If your doctor doesn’t feel obliged to do a BRCA testing shoutout on Twitter, it’s quite possible you with thirty years less experience and knowledge ought to consider the same. At least the political rants don’t lead to overwrought women trying to give themselves hysterectomies with butter knives. Merely, overwrought women.

Expect this study to be expunged from all records prior to Jolie’s run for UN Secretary General. The road to hell is paved with good intentions. So is lying about your husband beating your children because he hasn’t touched you since you eighty-sixed your tits.

Photo credit: FameFlynet