The Amber Rose Conversion Nearly Complete

America loves a repentant sinner. Or a non-repentant sinner, if you can maneuver your whoring into the category of female empowerment. Watching the likes of Kendra Wilkinson turn from stripper and old guy dick sucker into domesticated wife and motherly advice giver at your local Barnes & Noble is a conversion never afforded to the Salem witches.

Amber Rose is an alien creature of immensely inflated silcone proportions whose transitioned from hooking teen and recreational rapper baby mama into a corporate approved mainstream entertainment figure. That’s how Rose rose from champagne room handies to foxtrotting with one of the many not quite gay Dancing With the Stars before crowds of children at a Christmas shopping kickoff at an outdoor mall.

Comments on Rose’s tits are now met with reflexive cries of body shaming and racism. The latter only because nobody’s quite sure. It’s the perfectly constructed defense circle. Drop a five and see if instincts kick in. Amber Rose will soon be hosting Reading Rainbow in elementary school closed circut classroom monitors. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}