Rob Kardashian Cucked

Some aspiring rapper named Pilot Jones filed a police report against Rob Kardashian for sending him threatening texts because Pilot sold photos of himself making out with Blac Chyna to TMZ and is claiming he’s the father of Chyna’s unborn child. What a dick. However, he obviously fucked her and Rob Kardashian’s sperm is clearly made of marmalade and baby powder. He’s also roughly ninety percent body fat and is in no way capable of pelvic thrusts.

Sure, if Stephen Hawking can get it up there’s a chance, but clearly Pilot is coming in at a 20 to 1 favorite here. Certainly it could be one of the seventy other random dudes who jizzed inside of Blac Chyna during her ovulation period and then drove to Phoenix while crying and found Jesus along with some bumps on their shaft. Rob is really pissed about it, so clearly he thinks it’s a possibility. He also has an inexplicably black sister who’s twice his height. Close to the vest: 

“And u faggot ass bitch this is ROB and u did the most DISRESPECTFUL shit ever by releasing pics and a story to a pregnant Woman who is 17 days from having a baby! This is my Wife and you about to get your ass beat by every Mexican in LA including me. U fucked with the wrong Woman and the wrong dude. I hope you religious cuz after I beat your ass with about 30 Mexicans u better hope God lets u into heaven. Its a wrap for u and after we beat your ass we will all be good and never contact Chyna … u pussy ass nigga! Don’t ever come for me and my wife ever U corny ass niggaa [a bunch of black fist emojis].” 

Wow. Did Rob just claim to be Mexican? Talk about an identity crisis. Also does he seriously have affection for Blac Chyna? He’s such a pathetic loser. Also does he really think he can beat up this black dude with stronger sperm than him? Also, does he think he has a pass to drop the N-Bomb because his sisters have fucked all of Inglewood? Pretty sure Kim has an ounce of self awareness, this is just hard to watch. I rarely say this, but suicide is looking pretty rosy right now. Lay off the white zin. 

Photo Credit: Instagram