Prince Harry Rises To His Chick’s Defense

Prince Harry became the five-thousandth famous person in history to deliver a pointless speech to the media about leaving his family and girlfriend alone. In particular, Harry seems rather miffed by sexist, racist, and overly personal Internet article comments about Meghan Markle. He went straight after social media trolls. So, good luck with that. Quit Twitter?

“Some of it has been hidden from the public – the nightly legal battles to keep defamatory stories out of papers; her mother having to struggle past photographers in order to get to her front door; the attempts of reporters and photographers to gain illegal entry to her home and the calls to police that followed; the substantial bribes offered by papers to her ex-boyfriend; the bombardment of nearly every friend, co-worker, and loved one in her life.”

This is one of those sucks to be you moments. Nobody asks to be born into an anachronistic regal family with millions of creepy fat ladies basing their emotional self-worth upon your latest adorable baby photos. Your mother was practically hounded to death by the paparazzi. You can’t fuck a party girl in Vegas without everybody in the establishment looking to sell stories to TMZ, and the British tabloids which are far worse. Fifth in line to the throne was a much better gig in the 16th century. 

There’s literally nothing you can do about this. Owning castles helps. Making pointless pleas to a celebrity scandal press only makes you look weak. There are many masters to be served. Henry fucked a ton of chicks and knew how to handle gossipmongers. Think of those tiny Filipino camera guys crawling into your future mother-in-law’s house as enemy combatants. You flay the first one at the stake and the others will get the message. Nobody really likes freedom of the press. Or royals who whine.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}