Mariah Carey And Nick Cannon Divorce

Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon have finalized their divorce, which is a polite thing to do if you’re trying to get fifty million bucks out of another guy you weren’t fucking. Carey reported making over twice as much money as Cannon, yet he is the only one who has to put money in a trust for their kids. That’s male privilege.

Both of them wrote in various stipulations, such as controlling the language of their children – neither of them are allowed to permit the kids to refer to their new significant other as Mom or Dad or anything similar. That’s just fucking weird. Nobody in 1984 really wanted to live there. Certainly they didn’t pay lawyers to enforce thought control. There’s a camera in this vase, get in the paddy wagon. Why not leave this up to the kids? Oh, right, it’s not about them. 

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