Kendall Jenner Seems Simple

There’s a reason nature didn’t evolve women who were both hot and smart. For the very same reason the vast majority of offensive tackles aren’t majoring in engineering. Smart attractive women or smart huge strong guys in any reasonable number would quickly take over the species. The smart attractive women would refuse to fuck and the smart big men would spend their days inventing undetectable ways to spike the punch bowl.

Kendall Jenner recently announced she was leaving Instagram. The many millions of people who rely on Kendall Jenner’s day to get through their own expressed dismay and shock. Somebody bought a fancy new belt that looked amazing. Theories on Jenner’s abandonment ranged from the inane to the inane. Her followers don’t have great range. But it was all so simple, as Jenner explained on Ellen :

It’s kind of a nice, refreshing feeling. I’m away from my phone so much more. You start to engage in, like, real life, and you have to deal with real people right in front of you, so it’s kind of really nice to be away from it, even if it’s just Instagram.

Time for Kris Jenner to issue a press release as an anonymous insider calling Kendall the “intuitive one”. To be fair, we’d all hide in our phones if there were groups of strange men filming us in our bathrooms since we were eleven. Jenner gets paid big money to post to social media daily. What’s your excuse?

Kendall Jenner clams to be experiencing withdrawls and assured her millons of followers that she’ll be back on Instagram someday. Expect that someday to be Friday by the latest. Dealing with people right in front of you is overrated. Especally when it’s Ellen mumbling ‘hussy cunt’ and making lewd gestures with her forefingers.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram/Snapchat}