Kate Upton Fucks Justin Verlander

Kate Upton and Justin Verlander fuck. It’s unclear what bed frame could hold them but they definitely do. As proof, there’s a photo of one time he jizzed on her large deltoid. Admit it, if you’re driving along a country road and see two horses fucking, you’ll pull over and watch. Assuming you’re on the clock and delivering my fridge. Verlander is 6’5″, Upton gets most of her bikini bottoms as hand me downs from The British Bulldog. When they have a kid it will be able to box out the riot squad including their tanks. They’re engaged. Many hundred year old people familiar with baseball and also Kate Upton have concluded that Verlander was snubbed on his Cy Young nomination this year. She tweeted about it from her reinforced chair while eating corn on the cob and drinking a pint glass of whole milk: 

“Hey @MLB, I thought I was the only person allowed to fuck @JustinVerlander ?! What 2 writers didn’t have him on their ballot?”

It’s a funny line, and a tasteful way to voice your concern. There’s just one problem: Verlander is almost certainly fucking other chicks on the road. He works one day a week and his job entails mostly watching his team play baseball and pretending to be interested while he’s thinking about the whores in Cincinnati. Pitcher is certainly the best job in the entire world. As an added perk you get to bang supermodels. It’s unclear why you picked the one who can suplex you but to each their own. Regardless of the current climate, I still love white people. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}