Kanye Still In Fashionable Straight Jacket

Kanye West is still chillin’ in the hospital so he can garner enough material to write a below average rap album touching on the whole thing. If you’re such a genius, how come you couldn’t outsmart the paramedics? It would be kind of funny if he killed himself with a sharpened toothbrush but he’s obviously way too much of a pussy.

Imagine what’s going through his head. I discovered my wife from a bad porno. That looks like my dick, but it’s not. It’s larger. I’ve got to stop grinding my jaw. I think me and the guy fitting my jeans were thinking the same thing. We should have consummated it. My life is complete bullshit. Why do I keep lying about my height? Nas hasn’t returned my texts, do you think he changed his number? Have I been an annoying asshole for the past decade? What was the end game… Man, I really do have to relax my jaw, what am I the black Quagmire? These pills are amazing. Shit, maybe I am a genius after all. Get Michael Jackson’s doctor on the phone, I’m going to have lunch with Taylor Swift. Goodbye cruel world. I’m coming, mama.