Gwyneth Paltrow Finally Getting It

Gwyneth Paltrow appears to be coming to the realization that people hate her because she’s a pompous elitist cunt who sells fifteen thousand dollar dildos. When you come from a family of means and have some social status, people pretend to like you even though they want to punch the wine out of your hand. Once you graduate from movie star to haute punchline, they stop pretending. This is where Paltrow is at: 

“I had no idea how much I was in a career where everyone kissed my ass, and now people are like, ‘fuck you’… Now, like, we’re on JetBlue.”

The horrors of flying first class commercially. That’s why people hate you. The robot cannot compute. Paltrow is probably getting passed up on a lot of movie rolls these days, partially because she’s well into middle age but also people have heard the stories about how she demands thirty dollar a jar vegan mayonnaise to be spread onto her upper labia on set. She’s forty-four years old. Dudes stop kissing your ass around the time you hit menopause. This site rarely features positive stories, but the fact Paltrow is suffering emotionally to some degree is truly heartwarming. 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}