Eliot Spitzer’s Hooker Heading To Prison

Svetlana Travis Zakharova is the Russian hooker who fucked Eliot Spitzer and then began blackmailing him and claimed he assaulted her. So, basically a typical Russian chick.

She was transferring the money to banks in Russia where blackmailers are afforded a special low introductory interest. Spitzer was not her only victim, and she’s being charged with sixteen felonies. Luckily she was busted before chopping off some poor guy’s dick and sticking it in the blender in front of him for entertainment purposes. The bail is set at one million dollars, and she’s been unable to post it. Those Forever 21 dresses and stilettos really add up.

Spitzer really drew the short end of the stick on this one. Clearly it wasn’t his first time with a whore. Karma wouldn’t do that. The judge in the case openly speculated as to her fate, which is uncommon. He was probably drunk. Who cares: 

“This is one of those crimes, it’s an odd crime. It’s either probation or state prison, no in between. I’m not sure probation is her outcome.” 

Should we just declare the mistrial now and move on with it? Jesus judge did you fuck this cunt as well? Beware of Backpage, these people are out there.

If you’re going to do it anyway, avoid the Russians and don’t tell them where you live. Provide a fake name. If they become involved in blackmail, blackmail them back. If you don’t stop blackmailing me, I’m going to go to the cops and have you arrested for blackmail. That should shut them up. Wear a condom. Actually just skip the headache and go to the Friday’s down the street, a chubby chick is fine. 

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