Catherine Zeta-Jones Doesn’t Understand Revenge

Displeased with unflattering paparazzi photos of herself in a swimsuit on vacation in Mexico with her family, Catherine Zeta-Jones did what any woman would. She spent the entire day having her older husband snap blown-out photos of herself in a bikini and a top hat until she found a couple where she looked okay and posted them to Instagram. In your face, Diego, trying to feed his family with photos of me on the beach.

Pissed the paparazzi photographed my ass, thus sharing the photographs my husband took of my ass. Always a better option for viewing. 

Vanity is a tricky personality trait. Responding to a bruised ego with low resolution bikini pictures of where your ass used to be when you were younger and in that Sean Connery movie seems like a misstep. Of course Michael Douglas at 72 obliged your narcissism. At 42 he would’ve told you it sounds like a great idea while he went out for a walk around the resort and fucked three other women. Yeah, I’m the guy from Streets of San Francisco, and, coincidentally, that’s my dick. 

_{Photo credit: Catherine Zeta-Jones/Instagram}