Tallulah Willis Maybe A Mrs.

People not her substance abuse counselors who track Tallulah Willis are certain she’s gone off and married her boyfriend of a couple months. He strums the guitar, so officially he does one thing more than his new wife. 

Outside of the chin, there’s little evidence the Willis daughters inherited much from their hardworking dad and mom. Tallulah and Scout in particular seem content with gin and juice and decrying the need for women to wear bras. 

Bruce Willis turned mediocre acting and a receding hairline into a major motion picture brand. Demi Moore moved from brat pack films when she was naturally petite to a busty ripped brunette top earner in popcorn summer blockbusters. Maybe your kids are inherently fucked once you go and grab the brass ring for yourselves. Put them in straw baskets and send them down the Flint river.

Eating disorders are for people who don’t grow up hungry. Bulimia rates in Chad are excessively low. Your neighbor will gobble up your vomit to live another day. Spare the rod and replace with Whip-Its. Those breasts at forty are going to be something.

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}