Derrick Rose Lives to Underperform Another Day

Derrick Rose was found non-liable for any and all rape claims made by the booty call chick he banged with two of his buddies one late night when In & Out had already closed and everybody was looking for something to do. In case you were wondering how the case would turn out, several jurors took photos with a smiling Rose after the acquittal. It’s somewhat disgraceful, but not like you’re ever going to run into Derrick Rose again. Certainly not in a situation where you saved him millions of dollars. 

Two jurors took a pic with Rose. One said he had never heard of him (not a sports fan), the other is not a Rose fan. — Jon Greenberg, Chicago sports writer.

The criminal case never moved forward because the D.A. won’t go after a guy with a fat bank account and solid lawyers behind the testimony of an obviously scheming hooker. D.A’s covet their winning percentages far more than Derrick Rose. The civil case seemed like a long-shot for the plaintiff when even her friends sold her out as a gold-digger. The only thing proven in court was Derrick Rose’s penchant for fucking chicks with his male friends’ cocks in tow and a reminder that chicks who provide free sex to professional athletes are lying about their rates.

Order has been restored to the world and Derrick Rose can go back to doing stupid shit that will land him in court again soon. You never see ignorance bite a dumb man only once in his life.