Amber Rose Still Winning

Following a successful Slut Walk LA where she pocketed a few grand while accomplishing nothing, Amber Rose is back Dancing With the Stars. Somewhere between burning letters into the foreheads of the village strumpets and placing them on a pedestal and forcing the schoolchildren to lick there’s a happy medium for whores. We’ve yet to find it in this country. Reality television comes close.

Last week Amber Rose gained the tactical political correctness advantage by claiming Julianne Hough body shamed her by calling her slow grind on her gay dance partner to be disturbing. Rose intuited that Hough was mocking her curvy body, which though entirely artificial, you can still claim as sovereign offended territory. Shrewd move. Never go to war with a stripper.

On this week’s show, Hough realized the error or her ways and candidly made a non-candid statement to Rose:

I would like to say one thing also. The thing that I love so much about dance is that dance is a universal platform for people to express themselves. Any person. Whether that is age or height, body shape, ethnicity, sexual orientation. It is something that people can express themselves to do. And for me, I am a huge supporter of that and that alone. As a judge on this show, I am here to solely judge you and everyone else in this competition for only the dancing. So I want you to know that.

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