Weiner Went Statutory

Some amount of Weiner bashing is merely piling on to one of a million horny bored middle aged husbands each day across the net trolling for younger women. But when a 15-year old girl comes forward with your suggestive and dirty texts and photos, there’s going to be chatter at the local block party. 

Huma Abedin already has announced that she’s ditching Anthony Weiner. She’s coat-tailing places on Hillary’s sickly ticket her husband could only ever dream of, if he wasn’t constantly dreaming about an entire high school girls field hockey team stroking his manhood amid oohs and aahs.

Here’s the kind of testimony you clearly never want to hear about yourself from a high school sophomore:

He would tell me that he was very lonely and that it had been a year since he and his wife had sex, and that she really didn’t pay him any attention. We would talk, just chatting for about 30 minutes and it would lead to more sexual things…asking me to undress…he’d comment on my body. He asked me about masturbation, and that kind of thing.

That’s almost certainly going down on your permanent record. Now law enforcement has to get involved. Who in the office gets the terrorist bombing and who gets Weiner’s dick pics is entirely decided by roshambo. It’s unclear whether locking him up will do anybody any good, although taking away his Internet access might be a thought.