Kaia Gerber Passed Around

Not many people’s lives are set at fifteen. Bombed out Syrian refugees and celebrity daughter models do grow up fast. Cindy Crawford’s daughter, Kaia Gerber, was named the Breakout Model of the Year at some posh New York Fashion Week event. There’s something straightforward and old-fashioned about creepy straight men inviting underaged teens to dress grown up and come out for an evening of statutory rape attempts. When the hosts are nervous gay men who exploit girls for a more twisted, commercial purpose, sirens ought go off.

Likely they did. Cindy Crawford was too busy beaming at her daughter’s Pretty Baby entry into the world of grownup to notice. Teen boy model brother Presley Gerber was on hand in leather pants to assure his sister how gentle and loving everybody is on the first pass around. Kaia commemorated the evening by repeating words from a heartfelt speech written by somebody else:

A lot of people ask what my mom has taught me about modeling, the truth is the things she teaches me to go deeper than what pose to make or what my good side is. She teaches me to be kind, punctual—if you guys know her, then you know she’s very punctual—and to stand up for myself. And when I think about it, aren’t these things every mother should teach her daughter?

Punctuality is really the key to pass along to your young daughter as you throw her to the wolves entirely for ego gratification. Maybe Kaia and her perfectly tousled hair brother would never rise higher in life than fondled eye candy, but aren’t parents the ones who pretend otherwise? Do you realize how many men want to fuck my fifteen year old daughter is a poor choice of offspring bragging. This is the point when dad steps in and tell his wife to sit the fuck down with her glory days come-again dreams and insist the children at least take a stab at school and sports and some part-time landscaping work hours with a buddy’s company.

When Germany comes knocking, never ask yourself, what would France do? Fuckers. Buy your kid a pony and insist she graduate high school.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}