Gretchen Carlson Scores the Big Wang

Gretchen Carlson scored twenty million in settlement dollars from Fox News and her former boss Roger Ailes for alleged ongoing sexual harassment in the workplace. There’s no reason really to hear evidence in these matters. Show me the participants. Gross fat old guy and much younger fake blonde in a short skirt. Guilty. Ninety-percent of what Ailes said as her boss is likely dirty joke shit he’s been telling to male employees for the past forty years. But the other ten-percent is certainly come ons to a blow job. We may not be old and fat and rich, but we are men. So we know this.

Twenty million seems like a lot of coin for an “assault” case involving zero physical contact. Beyond the hide the salami jokes, there were accusations that Ailes fucked with Carlson’s shows and time slots and such at Fox after she refused to let him jowl fuck her for thirty seconds once a week which sounds both like a little and a lifetime. Not sure what Carlson makes per annum, but this settlement seems like it must be her annual salary and then some for the rest of her life. Not like she lost a leg to a reckless driver. Because then she might be looking at five percent of the twenty million. Lose your life tragically to a defective piece of machinery. Not even close to twenty million. 

This must be a grand buyout to shutting Carlson the fuck up about other shit she might know and also not having to sit in front of twelve semi-retired morons who denounce a $200 million judgement because they watch a lot of TV, and none of it Fox. Carlson will certainly tell you she’d trade the pile of cash in for a chance to not have to re-live this chapter of her life again. But she’d be lying. And stuffing thousands into her honey pot.

_{Photo credit: Fox News}