Bella Thorne Might Fuck a Chick, She Might Not

Since coming out as bisexual almost weeks ago, Bella Thorne has conducted a whirlwind promotional campaign for the bisexual community. The crux of Thorne’s efforts have been posting snuggling photos with her friend also named Bella with whom she says she isn’t romantically or sexually involved. Though she could be if she wanted to and that would be very natural. In short, remove all the fun parts about watching young women dabble with lesbianism and this is what’s left. Tuna sandwich hold the tuna.

Happy Bisexual Visibility Day! My best friend Bella and I went camping and made life time memories. Not only today but all days we should celebrate acceptance of others. Be who you want to be and it will take you to being your happiest self! [hashtag] bivisibilityday

The be who you want to be slogan trends well among Millennials. As does making shit up to sound relevant or explain why you’re single. You’re furry. We get it. You can’t get laid without a costume on, Cheetah-Panda.

This cloying viral cartoon best sums up bisexuality. A husband asks a wife which celebrity she would sleep with if she had the chance. She hems and haws. He says, c’mon which guy is it. She says I was actually thinking of a woman! He laughs it off. Her feelings are hurt because she told him before they were married that she was bisexual and he’s denying an important part of her sexual identity. 

In short, bisexual is a way of stating you’re an enormous pain in the ass. Also, your wife walked in on you with a dick in your mouth but you’re not prepared to admit how hard that made you cum. Your happiest self now involves wearing heels. Prepare yourself. Not a single guy you know will ever call you bisexual.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram/Snapchat}