Womens Beach Volleyball Olympic Succor

Beach volleyball chicks look amazing from thirty feet. You start moving in closer and they ditch the visors and glasses and you realize they’re flat skinny chicks with abdominal stretch marks on their third to fourth stage of melanoma. They’re still the best part of the Olympic Games without a close second. Maybe that gymnast dude who turned his fibula into an Operation game bone extraction.

The Olympics are an exercise in trying to hype sporting events nobody cares about for the entirety of the four years between games. At some point you’ll catch yourself watching a handball match and realize you bit. Re-organizing the NBA by country of origin only seems cool until you realize the U.S. gets to keep all the black players. Four years from now in Tokyo call this the Women’s Beach Volleyball games, push the ladies to get implants, add intra-Spandex POV pen cams, and you’ll find your ratings reverse course. Also Lochte scamming up a gunpoint showdown with the Yazkua. That’s a must.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}