Wingsuit Jumping Seems Vainglorious (VIDEO)

There’s a fine line between courageous and self-absorbed. It mostly has to do with context. If you’re charging enemy lines to save a fallen buddy in the face of automatic weapon fire, that’s courageous. If you’ve committed your life to Facebook live streaming your base jumps for everybody to see how cool you look flying, you’re kind of a douche. Or were.

Armin Schmieder got somewhere up in the Alps, encouraging his fans on Facebook to watch his awesome wingsuit flight, before stowing the cellphone and switching to GoPro on the helmet. He left the cellphone running in his pocket so you could hear his German countdown, takeoff, and not long after, wind blowing him back against the rocks, and a death among what sounds like Heidi’s cowbells on the ground somewhere. That’s what the old folks used to call an E-ticket ride. Earlier in the week, Alexander Polli, one of the originators of the wingsuit jumps, died crashing into a tree in the Alps. They have those. I’ve seen the postcards.

The kid who could do wicked dirt bike tricks and occasionally broke his arm was pretty cool. Ratchet the danger level to deadly and everybody’s still going to watch, but more like rubberneckers than fans. Coal mining is fucking dangerous, but you need to feed your family. Picking a wildly dangerous solo hobby where you are obliged to film yourself so your mom can watch you die on Facebook doesn’t make you brave, just an asshole. It’s a free world. Do whatever the fuck gives you a thrill. Just quit it with the Mike Teavee I’m on camera nonsense.

Rest in peace. If those were goats and not cows, there won’t be much left.