Nobody Stopped the All-Chick Ocean’s Eleven Reboot So That’s Still Happening

With Ghostbusters fresh in the red, Warner Bros. is pushing hard on the all-female reboot of Ocean’s Eleven, which came out fifteen years ago, or just this month on Amazon Prime.

The new film is being titled Ocean’s Eight, because eight was the number required to fill out every demographic slot on the cast list. The over fifty sassy chick, the British chick, the Indian, the Asian-American, the Black chick, and a Hmong girl with Down Syndrome who will be used as a human bomb to blow up the wall of a casino vault using carbon neutral explosives. All ill-gotten booty will be distributed to single mothers suffering postpartum depression in the form of block grants for Starbuck’s muffins. 

Warner Bros. hopes to avoid the seventy million dollar loss Sony is taking on Ghostbusters by keeping the production budget more reasonable. Like, paying their female cast members less than the men. You can’t escape sexism, you can only hope to contain it in shitty needless socially engineered reboots. 

_{Photo credit: Splash News}