Britney Spears Switcherood Her Super Duper Naked Gay Music Video

Britney Spears’ label hired visual artist David LaChapelle to make Britney’s Make Me music video highly provocative and wall to wall gay men in banana hammocks. When Make Me was released this past week, all the oiled down topless gay dudes and Britney writhing naked had been replaced by cutesy chicks trying to help Britney find herself a decent boyfriend. Also the director’s name was listed as Randee St. Nicholas, which sounds like every fake name ever invented. Portions of the more sexually charged version leaked online, likely from Chapelle who is miffed how many twelve year old girls will never see his cock and balls extravaganza. Britney couldn’t be more proud of the end result:

It took a lot of time, but I think we brought it to a level where I was really, really happy with what I had. It’s cool, it’s really different. I think this is probably the most hip-hop album. Not most, there are like two or three songs that go in the direction of more urban that I’ve wanted to do for a long time now, and I just haven’t really done that.

This is like when Soviet era Pravda had to explain how noteworthy defections were all part of the master plan. The songs are all variations of the same template on Garage Band. The only variable is how much tits and ass you’ll show in the music video set against exactly how much undulating sodomy. There’s nothing wrong with trying to spin your porn as artistry. European directors have been doing that for decades. There is something wrong with promising gay porn and coming out with a CW interstitial. That’s a lot of heartbreak for somebody.

Here’s the released version if you hate yourself just that much: