Taylor Swift Snubbed

Taylor Swift received zero nominations for the MTV Video Music Awards this year. The VMAs celebrate the shittiest content at the intersection of teen music and quick-cut videos featuring super limber gay backup dancers. Swift’s ex-boyfriend Calvin Harris got nominated. As did Kanye for his music video about fucking Taylor Swift. Swift got bupkis.

Since the entire genre of over produced music tracks is incapable of being ordered qualitatively, Swift’s shutout has to be intentional. As in Kris Jenner meeting a nervous executive down by the docks and asking if he’d like to spend the rest of his time on earth rotting in her dank vagina. It doesn’t have to make sense if you can make people gag merely enunciating it.

Swift is spiraling downward since she openly engaged The Kardashians. Saying Candyman in the mirror seemed harmless the first two times. If Swift is fortunate, they’ll allow her to pay a tribute and move away unharmed. Less fortunate, Khloe gets a new chew toy.

_{Photo Credit: Splash}