M.I.L.F. $ Isn’t Even Trying (VIDEO)

Fergie and Will.I.Am produced a new music video that backed into a song that may be the worst four minutes of musically arranged crap ever. Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian release computer baked dance tracks every couple of years because dudes in the Middle East who can’t afford to fuck them want to feel involved. Fergie passes herself off as a musical artist. There’s some inherent level of responsibility in that title.

Fergie released M.I.L.F. $ because the Black-Eyed Peas are never getting back together and Will.I.Am still has to pay for those press releases explaining how he’s too busy to have a girlfriend. The video features Fergie and Chrissy Teigen and Kim Kardashian and other celebrity moms who routinely display their tits on social media while discussing motherhood as if they were the first to ever try. Bonus points for placing you infants in spank videos. Mother of the Year award voting criteria have evolved.

It’s unclear if M.I.L.F. $ is meant to be jaunty satire on how these artificially enhanced cartoon creatures are commercially exploiting reproduction or how obsessed men are with hot moms. The MILF meme being just a digital age myth because men don’t instinctively care what happened to your pussy before they got there.

It took thirteen years and a shit ton of production dollars to rip off Kelis’ Milkshake song. Nobody expected that long a wait. This same worthless video shot topless becomes an instant classic. That probably ought to be the standard for Vevo greenlighting in the future.