Kim Kardashian Up to $700,000 An Hour

When asked about making more money than the President, Babe Ruth told the media, “I’ve had a better year”. Then he plowed his face into snuff and consumed a chili dog while a fat chick barebacked his syphilis encrusted dick. Crude, but more interesting than anything at the political conventions.

Kim Kardashian’s latest gig netted her high seven figures for publicizing and showing up for an hour of interviews at a house party in The Hamptons sponsored by Revolve upscale clothing. Kardashian’s having a much better year than the President. She’s also fucked more black people.

Kardashian was helicoptered in to the event where she was surrounded by rings of security because Whore Lives Matter. The New York Post counted twenty-five bodyguards in all. Once you reached Kim, it was like Santa Claus at Macy’s, you had twenty seconds to ask a question, snap a photo, and find yourself slung out to the backyard for booze and cookies. Elle magazine asked, “How do you and Kanye inspire one another?” I might have gone with ‘May I fuck you in your anus with this here Swiffer Sweeper?”. At least I would’ve received an honest response:

Kanye and I give advice to each other on a daily basis. From ‘Do you like this outfit?’ to last night, I had him up at one in the morning because I was showing him different makeup techniques. We are constantly asking each other for creative feedback.

I’m a tard and my husband is super gay would have sufficed. Now I’ve got no time for my second question. I can’t believe I gave you my credit card number for this. Prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. It remained imperfect until now.

_{Photo credit: FameFlynet/Instagram}