Can Katy Perry’s Shitty New Song Save the Shitty Summer Olympics? (VIDEO)

NBC has tapped Katy Perry’s new familiar sounding single, Rise, as the official anthem of the 2016 Summer Olympics in Rio. That means Universal footed the bill for the studio time to translate inspiring Amazing Race riffs into a pop song about overcoming obstacles, like masked gunmen or Zika you’d have to think. Metaphors are for cowards.

Best case scenario, after the Olympics are over commentators remark how despite all the concerns going in, it wasn’t the worst Olympics ever. The violent felony assault count was below that of Chicago over the same two weeks of summer. This is one of those selections in life where you can’t claim ignorance after the fact. Like trying Vietnamese lunch specials. Sure your friend Jody loved it. Now you’re sick. Play the fucking song. Rise. It’s not working yet.