Aaron Rodgers Particularly Miffed

Green Bay QB Aaron Rodgers is miffed that his brother Jordan who he no longer speaks to was selected to be on ABC’s The Bachelorette so the bachelorette could keep asking him planted questions about why Aaron no longer takes his phone calls. It’s a blatantly cynical ploy that the ladies who watch the show care about as much as they do In the Grasp rule in football.

Nobody’s got a solid answer as to why Aaron Rodgers cut off communication with his brother and his parents a few years ago, though the consensus is that he’s a douche with money and a hot celebrity girlfriend so why not. On the Bachelorette, Jordan Rodgers doesn’t get much past, “I dunno why he won’t talk to us, it’s unfortunate.” Not like he’s taking potshots. Aaron Rodgers claims that Jordan’s comments are inappropriate but that he hasn’t seen the show so it doesn’t affect him at all. Which is precisely what pariahs say before they double down on their rage and bitterness.

Fraternal feuds used to end in murder. The omnipresence of cell phone camera witnesses have turned domestic grudges into never-ending series of cold and restrained quotes in the media. The version of the bible where Cain casts Twitter shade on Abel is far less of a good summer reader. It turns out Aaron Rodgers isn’t gay. Who knew? Touchdowns make everything better.