Paris Hilton Shits Gold

Paris Hilton wrapped up the launch of her 20th signature fragrance. All essentially identical junior chemistry kit concoctions produced in a dredged swampland outside Budapest. Packaging takes time or she’d be on fifty. Three of her signature scents are for men. The aroma is used by U.S. Special Forces to locate ISIS forces in the dark. It’s not the jihad that kills you, it’s the Qatari disco smell.

None of this is as laughable when you note sales of her licensed perfumes now top 1.5 billion worldwide. She doesn’t get most of that. Just enough to settle that classic ethical dilemma where you’re the conductor and your train is going off the tracks and you must choose to kill either Paris Hilton or a group of former SS concentration camp guards. Smells like success, with traces of benzene. 

_{Photo Credit: FameFlynet}