Oscar Pistorius Does The Funky Chicken (VIDEO)

Oscar Pistorius wobbled around on his nubs during his murder sentencing trial in an attempt to show the judge he’s going to have a hard time in prison. Should have thought about that when you were shooting your girlfriend through the bathroom door with hollow point bullets, a real pussy move that can be accomplished sitting on your ass. Pistorius ambled around and then approached the judges table, pretended to fall down, and then finally kneeled on a special cushion. We can get you a cushion in prison. It serves multiple uses when you’re being injected with the slow puncture. They can probably also hook it up with a wheelchair or perhaps a skateboard with a seatbelt on it. 

The trial has been deeply sensationalized. Few legal experts understand how the South African justice system works but it appears to be based on the film Liar Liar. Earlier the victim’s parents allowed the court to view explicit photos of her murdered corpse. Yep, definitely dead just like the coroner said. There have been several valid accusations of privilege and racism, with Pistorius’ lawyer basically arguing the guy who murdered his wife will be surrounded by dangerous people. No doubt there are a few guys in there who killed a baby to cure their AIDS but for the most part it’s probably common criminals. They have to live somewhere. Prison seems like the perfect place. Ok last offer, he’s allowed to carve new legs out of soap-on-a-ropes. 

_{Photo Credit: TimesLive/Youtube}