Madonna Horny Old Woman

If it were 50 years ago, Obama would have already fucked Madonna dozens of times. Sure he could get hotter tail but Presidents are pretty obsessed with status. As it is he’s probably only banged her a handful of times. Back when he was the Senator of Illinois Obama attended a lot of Chicago Bulls games and Madonna fucked their entire roster. It follows that they probably got it on although he was probably in too much of a hurry to remove his dress shirt.

They reunited backstage at Fallon and Madonna made an obnoxious display of taking a bunch of photos of him with her fuck me eyes, basically playing up the Marilyn Monroe thing. Madonna is nothing if not derivative, put another way, unoriginal. Someone should keep her in a kennel when distinguished men are around: 

“The person I most want to meet is President Obama … He just needs to invite me to the White House already. He probably thinks I’m too shocking to be there. I’m serious. If I was a little bit more demure … or if I was just married to Jay Z. Hey, if Jay would only take me as his second wife, then I’d score an invitation.”

We get it you want to fuck everybody. This grew tired in 1993 before you postponed menopause at the crossroads. Also, you are somewhat shocking. In a bad way. Like, hey your mom just showed me her butt plug and she had it stored in the same drawer as the spatulas. Rocco’s biography is going to be amazing. Fucking stop. It appears Madonna does have some form of nymphomania, but it’s past the point of being a positive for your average dude. Beat her off with a stick next time, you’ve killed a million Arabs what’s a limping cougar? 

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}