Kim Basinger Best Laid Plans

Kim Basinger has an inkling that her six year long nasty divorce litigation with Alec Baldwin might have a negative impact on the grade schooler she had in the house to freshen up her cocktails, so she sat down one evening to devise an entirely therapeutic way to raise Ireland Baldwin:

Divorce is hard on a kid, no matter how you cut it. And ours was very public and nasty. So I brought up Ireland in a very unconventional way. I just wanted her to be free. If she wanted to have her friends over and write over the walls with pen, that was fine. I wanted her childhood to be full of love and light and animals and friends.

And her young adulthood to be full of drinking and rehab and interracial lesbian dabbling and posting bare ass pics online. It’s the grown up version of writing on the walls with permanent marker. Reckless property damage your parents will surely cover should be instilled in children at a young age. 

For most people by twenty you’re firmly in the stance that blaming their shitty upbringing no longer serves as an excuse for their adult problems. I’m throwing Ireland a bone until thirty. And anything up to manslaughter, though manslaughter if her parents. If you close your eyes and imagine for a moment being raised between Kim Basinger and Alec Baldwin, letting an angry butch rapper finger you into oblivion might seem like upside. Serial killers are born, chicks who only feel good when naked in public are made.

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}