Brexit Vote Has Unhinged the Coeds

You can never go wrong choosing political positions the opposite to heavy set college girls marching in the street. They’re obviously not marching enough. Voting gaps aren’t as simple as crotchety old men versus vibrant muffin top millennials. It’s a gap between those working a paycheck to feed family and nation and those arranging to meet their friends at The Coffee Bean at 10am for a morning klatch. Everybody was once young and stupid and thought they could change the world while somebody subsidized their weed money. 

Some portion of the American public is vexed about Brexit. Almost none of them understand the precise meaning of the vote. Even legitimate British reporters and academicians are completely divided over the impact of the vote. Your friend on Facebook signing petitions for a re-vote so that more North African immigrants can set up bean cake shops in North London has no clue. If it weren’t for the catchy Brexit moniker, ninety percent of them wouldn’t have been tracking it. It’s always important to ask yourself, did I discover this issue through my One Direction Fan news feed?

Universal social communications has counterintuitively made people far less tolerant and open minded. The self-selection bubbles become ever more rings of sycophancy. What used to be something you figured seemed right has now been dittoed by five hundred people who you’ve friended because they think just like you do. Now you’re certain you’re right. Debate has been replaced by affirmations and likes. Mostly I’d just like to see protestors drop a stone or two. Your days of open travel to Italy for their amazing Olive Gardens is over. Now you must get a stamp at the airport or train station. Fucking, eh. Repression.

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