Nicki Minaj Is a Beast

Nicki Minaj has received two nominations for the Teen Choice Awards. Neither of them had to do with wanting to lose your virginity in her ginormous fake ass. Let’s just assume girls make up the bulk of the online voting. Minaj celebrated by posting pictures to Instagram of her exaggerated cartoon fuck toy body in lingerie.

I recall teen girls used to hate the chick in class with the big tits who left them feeling flat and inconsequential. Today must be murder with the massively mutilated and inflated bodies on social media’s largest followed celebrities. Between that and the omnipresence of online pornography, teen boys must have pretty lofty expectations of what we used to hope was briefly mounting an okay looking chick whose parents were going through a divorce. 

If you’re sitting on jackhammer anal over the edge of the couch with a cheerleader with Minaj tits, you could be setting yourself up for a huge let down. Massive plastic surgery doesn’t work out for most people. Check the roadside motels with the ambulances out front. You’re destroying the fabric of America, Minaj. Could you at least do it naked?

_{Photo Credit: Instagram}