Gwen Stefani Sings For Her Cock

Gwen Stefani felt compelled to create a third solo album speaking to her messy divorce and new found love. It’s tantamount to speaking with her on the phone for ninety minutes about her relationship issues. That’s the dream.

“It feels like I’m supposed to be doing this right now and sharing my story. And I really hope that this record brings pleasure and, I don’t know, documents people’s, you know, lives in this moment. And I just — I’m so happy to share it.”

The minstrel songs of a forty-seven year old wealthy woman learning her husband has been fucking the nanny are ones that must be sung. The current song Misery is dedicated to her new boyfriend, Blake Shelton. The misery described in the song is about how hard it is to wait for Shelton’s cock when he’s on tour. That must be one serious cock. Something for your kids to hum along to while the nannies prevent them from getting close to the master suite when Blake’s visiting. He’s not my dad! No, still, let his cock finish in your mom. We need three more songs.

_{Photo Credit: Gwen Stefani ‘Misery’}