Grimes Propositioned

Grimes is a shitty nickname. Like a dwarf with scoliosis who sweeps the manor floors.

Canadian singer Grimes’ real name is Claire. But Claire is the kind of girl who likes frame stores and spying on her boyfriend’s texts. As Grimes, you can authoritatively comment on the misogynistic state of the music industry. Asked about the Kesha and Dr. Luke case, Grimes claimed that particular situation is fairly complicated. Meaning Dr. Luke is innocent. So not complicated so much as antithetical to your presiding view:

I’ve been in numerous situations where male producers would literally be like, ‘We won’t finish the song unless you come back to my hotel room.

Numerous sounds like a lot. A hard count would be nice. Grimes declined the come-ons and still had all her songs made. Let that be a lesson to you young ladies out there, you don’t have to have sex with your record producer. He’s bluffing. Same goes for your mailman when he asks if you want your Amazon package. Sexual predators generally won’t ask you to come back to their room for sex. They’ll ask you to watch Dancing with the Stars. That’s what makes them predators. Also, potentially gay.

You make so much money that Bernie Sanders hates you now. All this happened while you were coming up with a crappy nickname. Stay focused on the prize. Shitty pop music. If not you, then who?