Caitlyn Jenner Naked in SI

Caitlyn Jenner naked. Not since ‘Chipotle burrito, why?’ have three words caused such a shit your pants panic. It was inevitable. Sports Illustrated bid to be the first magazine to get the unclothed Bruce. That says more about Time Warner begging for progressive points than any cultural shift en masse. Guys who like sports haven’t suddenly found a passion for tranny. Exclusive of those already wing-manning for Hank Baskett and his after sundown Craigslist adventures.

SI is sticking with their story that the cover photo is to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Jenner’s decathlon gold medal. They can’t point to another cover celebration of the 40th anniversary of any gold medal winner ever. So, they’re fibbing. The magazine will be draping Jenner in an American flag because their air-brushing department has not been Adobe certified in cloning out old guy junk. 

The fact that corporate diversity offices are reaching for Jenner while the serious transgendered see him as a shill only shows how inch deep and a mile wide their commitment to the cause really is. Jenner sells copies. He sold views for ABC at the ESPY’s last summer when they gave him the Most Courageous Person in the Known Universe award for being a rich guy who started shopping one floor up at Barney’s. You who’ve suffered with your gender identity and finding jeans that fit, it’s time to eliminate the pretender. A car crash would be ironic. Close the loop. And get me the SI subscription department on the phone. I’m going to need another football phone if they think I’m re-upping.

_{Photo credit: Splash News}