Baby Announcements Getting More Interesting

Candice Swanepoel is having a baby by some dude she met in Paris when underaged. Or overaged for modeling. You wouldn’t know except for her posting pictures of her distended belly in topless photos on Instagram. She’ll likely be pregnancy shamed. Once the initial wave of masturbators have finished their ceremonial spunking.

People who don’t tilt at the inherent sexism windmills on social media seem to have many more followers and a lot less stress. Also more money and more handsome baby daddies. I’d have that mole biopsied, otherwise, congratulations on the boy. His future is being extra careful when checking out tits online to make sure he’s not seeing his mom naked every tenth flip. Boner kill. Or not. You dirty little bastard.

_{Photo credit: Candice Swanepoel/Instagram}