Rihanna’s Ass Scores Album Cover

Your 20’s are your golden years of pussy. If you didn’t get laid as a teen, take comfort in the fact you have yet to hit your decade of peak sexual activity. By your 30’s your married and your dick goes into a sad little box drawing dust in the attic next to your JV wrestling trophies. Rihanna’s in her 20’s and fucking the shit out of life. She jetted into Coachella and grabbed Leonard DiCaprio’s dick and shoved it in her twat. She didn’t even say please. She stole his bag. It’s not out of context that her albums are almost entirely dedicated to fucking. Her core audience hovers around non-intellectually curious high school girls which is only a problem if you’re not a high school boy with a reasonable ability to spot Rihanna fans. You used to have to figure out how often a girl went to church to figure out your odds of getting laid. Now you may innocuously check out her playlist. If she’s into Rihanna’s fuck music, get on that. You’re no DiCaprio, but you just got a sixty-percent government mandated raise at Carl’s Jr. and your’e available.