MTV Movie Awards Are Somehow Still Going On

The MTV Movie Awards aren’t a tribute to the tastes of teenagers who one day will be servicing park vending machines as part of a workfare program so much as a completely staged Viacom publicity event. There were a couple notable faces and Jessica Chastain’s tits cinched up to resemble proofing bread, but the bulk of the attendees were not yet dead cast members of MTV’s reality show and aspiring actresses who’ve had to pose for hours so Sumner Redstone can leak a drop of cum on their cheeks . The show is intentionally scheduled on a Saturday night by Hillary Clinton campaign advisors hoping nobody of voting age watches. By the time Ariana Grande sang over a pre-recorded track, half of the audience had fallen asleep on their Bratz bedding. The other half were searching for recreational drugs on Craigslist. Middle school was a time of great change. How many shareholders do we need to make this thing stop?

Photo Credit: FameFlynet